Father Accompanies Son for Initial Medical Visit, Unfamiliar with Paperwork Without Mother's Guidance
In a humorous yet poignant revelation, a father found himself utterly unprepared to complete medical paperwork during a routine check-up with his son, as he admitted to being the 'non-default parent'. Justin Kellough, a loving father, discovered he was lacking crucial information about his own child due to his wife's usual role as the primary caregiver.
During the eye doctor appointment, Kellough was forced to guess most of the medical questions, estimating that his son began speaking around 12 months and took his first steps at approximately 14 months. Unsure about his son's hand preference, Kellough humorously quipped, "I don't even think default parents would know that."
When asked about this scenario on TikTok, Kellough's post resonated with many, particularly those who identified as 'default parents'. One commenter in the medical field highlighted the wide disparity in knowledge between fathers and mothers when it comes to their children's healthcare. Some parents, however, defended these discrepancies, acknowledging the unique roles that both parents play in a two-parent household, with the default parent often bearing the brunt of the daily care and organization.
While the humor in Kellough's post cannot be denied, psychologists remind us that the 'Default Parent Syndrome' presents a heavy mental and emotional load for the primary caregiver. This is more than simply sharing household chores; it involves the 'invisible mental and emotional labor' such as tracking children's needs, scheduling, development milestones, and addressing various requests from the children. Amber Thornton, a licensed clinical psychologist and Motherhood Wellness Consultant, described this role as 'physically and emotionally taxing', with the potential for negative consequences for both partners and children.
Despite his lack of information, Kellough's post sheds light on the challenges of parenting when not serving as the default parent. The father's positive effort to attend the appointment and participate in his son's care, albeit imperfectly, can serve as a stepping stone towards increased involvement in his son's life. While this alone may not be enough to address the imbalance in responsibilities, it marks an important first step towards more equitable shared parenting.
- The 'Default Parent Syndrome' injustly places a heavy mental and emotional load on the primary caregiver within a family, as psychologists warn, involving duties ranging from tracking children's needs to addressing various requests from the children.
- Justin Kellough's humorous yet poignant revelation of his lack of knowledge during his son's routine check-up serves as a tool for discussion on the challenges faced by non-default parents in family-dynamics, parenting, and relationships.
- Kellough's admission of imperfect participation in his son's healthcare, despite being the loving father, highlights the importance of knowledge building for all parents in the realm of health-and-wellness and family wellness.
- It is intriguing to note that while some parents downplay the knowledge gap between fathers and mothers, the medical field often notices a significant disparity, as evidenced by the responses to Kellough's TikTok post.
- By openly addressing the demands of parenting not served as the default parent, as Kellough has done, we can potentially foster a healthier lifestyle for both parents and children, encouraging shared responsibilities and equitable parenting.
