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Narcissists Prefer Engaging with Individuals Displaying High Emotional Intelligence

Why encounter manipulative narcissists may puzzle you, given your empathy, self-awareness, and emotional control.

Pondering why you tend to draw narcissistic people, if you're sensitive, self-aware, and skilled at...
Pondering why you tend to draw narcissistic people, if you're sensitive, self-aware, and skilled at handling feelings?

Narcissists Prefer Engaging with Individuals Displaying High Emotional Intelligence

Narcissists have been known to target emotionally intelligent people due to their jealousy, insecurities, and the exploitation of kindness. That's right, being empathetic, self-aware, and good at managing emotions can put you in the crosshairs of these manipulators. To help you grasp why this happens and learn to defend yourself, let's dive into the reasons and provide you some solid advice.

What Draws Narcissists to Emotionally Intelligent People?

There are three primary factors that explain why narcissists go after those who possess emotional intelligence:

  1. Envy and Sabotage: Those with genuine emotional intelligence, particularly in terms of empathy and self-awareness, often lack the confidence that narcissists have. Consequently, they become distraught by the sight of someone thriving in areas they struggle. The envy can lead to acts of sabotage to diminish the emotionally intelligent person's success.
  2. Power Tripping: Narcissists possess a fragile self-esteem that constantly yearns for validation. To maintain their sense of power, they target secure, emotionally intelligent individuals who make them feel inferior. They might even attempt to exploit their vulnerabilities to assert control in discreet ways.
  3. Exploitation: Narcissists mistake kindness and empathy for weaknesses, and they take full advantage of them. By masquerading as victims or charming others, narcissists thread the minds of emotionally intelligent people in order to get what they want.

Rethinking the Role of Emotional Intelligence in Manipulation

Sad to say, it turns out that emotional intelligence may not be the shield we thought it was against manipulation. The empathy and trust we lend can be used against us. Recognizing narcissistic tactics early on is crucial to safeguard yourself from these predators.

Understanding the Narcissist-Emotionally Intelligent Relationship

Emotional intelligence, or EI, is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one's own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. Components of EI include self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. In comparison, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is characterized by self-absorption, grandiosity, lack of empathy, and inflated egos.

Practical Tips to Safeguard Yourself from Narcissistic Manipulation

For emotionally intelligent individuals, here are some key steps to guard against manipulation:

  1. Stay Alert: Recognize the signs of narcissistic behavior, such as a lack of empathy, constant need for admiration, arrogance, and manipulative tendencies.
  2. Establish Ground Rules: Set clear and firm boundaries in your relationships, and don't be afraid to say no when necessary.
  3. Surround Yourself with Trusted Individuals: Seek support from friends, family, or professionals who respect your emotional intelligence and can provide you with sound guidance.
  4. Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote your emotional well-being and self-awareness, such as meditation or therapy.
  5. Knowledge is Power: Educate yourself on common manipulative tactics used by narcissists so you can identify them, resist them, and protect yourself accordingly.

Narcissism vs. Emotional Intelligent Traits Comparison

| Trait | Narcissist | Emotionally Intelligent Person ||--------------------------------|-------------------------------------|----------------------------------------|| Empathy | Lacks emotional empathy | Exhibits genuine empathy || Self-Awareness | Self-absorbed and remorseless | Introspective and self-aware || Insecurity | Fragile self-esteem | Secure and self-assured || Manipulative Tendencies | Yes | No |

Conclusion

Narcissists target emotionally intelligent people due to their jealousy, insecurity, and the opportunity to exploit kindness. While emotional intelligence can be valuable, it can also make individuals more vulnerable to manipulation. Armed with knowledge and a plan, you can defend yourself against narcissistic individuals and cultivate healthy, fulfilling relationships.

References

  1. The dark side of empathy in narcissistic personality disorder PMC
  2. Narcissists overestimate their emotional intelligence, attractiveness and social skills Psypost
  3. Why a Narcissist May Seem Emotionally Intelligent Psychology Today
  4. Empathy in Narcissistic Personality Disorder: From Clinical and Empirical Perspectives PMC
  5. When Emotional Intelligence Makes You a Narcissist's Target Psychology Today
  6. 4 Ways a Narcissist May Manipulate the Emotionally Intelligent Psychology Today
  7. Narcissists may start out popular, but people see through them in the long run Los Angeles Times
  8. Relationship between emotional intelligence and narcissism: a meta-analytic review Emerald Insight
  9. Narcissists' exploitation of kindness extends to areas such as health-and-wellness and mental-health, as they might manipulate emotionally intelligent people by pretending to seek help but actually intending to capitalize on their empathy.
  10. In understanding the dynamics between narcissists and emotionally intelligent people, it is crucial to recognize that while emotional intelligence can provide valuable insights, it does not shield one from manipulation in all aspects, including health-and-wellness and mental-health, where narcissists may target vulnerabilities disguised as concerns.

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