Obstacles Hindering Contentment: An Examination of Two Common Impediments
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In a world where happiness often feels elusive, a new approach to well-being is gaining traction. This approach, known as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), encourages psychological flexibility and a different perspective on emotions.
Dr. Steven C. Hayes, co-founder of ACT and a foundation professor at the University of Nevada in Reno, compares suppressing negative emotions to trying to hold a water balloon underwater; it pops back up with force. Similarly, clinging to positive feelings can diminish happiness over time, much like trying to hold onto a helium balloon and losing sight of the actual purpose of the balloon.
ACT approaches happiness by encouraging acceptance of thoughts and feelings, rather than avoiding or suppressing them. This acceptance is crucial in navigating life's challenges without getting trapped in what Hayes calls the "Avoidance Trap" or the "Clinging Trap".
The "Avoidance Trap" refers to experiential avoidance, where a person tries to push away or suppress uncomfortable emotions, which tends to make those feelings stronger and more persistent. ACT teaches that acceptance—making space for thoughts and feelings without fighting them—is more effective.
On the other hand, the "Clinging Trap" involves grasping too tightly to moments of joy or positive emotions, which paradoxically leads to less happiness by increasing fear of losing those feelings and raising expectations that cannot be sustained. Rather than chasing constant happiness, ACT encourages living meaningfully despite emotional ups and downs.
ACT highlights three core components: Acceptance (embracing thoughts and feelings without struggle), Connection (staying present and grounded), and Taking Action (committing to living according to one’s values even when emotions are difficult). Through mindfulness and acceptance, individuals develop flexibility that helps them navigate life's challenges with openness and focus, improving well-being without becoming trapped by avoidance or clinging behaviors.
Dorothee Salchow, a trainer and coach for Positive Psychology, agrees. She states that it's important that all emotions or feelings are allowed to exist. Positive emotions, such as pleasure, inspiration, gratitude, love, awe, interest, pride, joy, tranquility, and hope, contribute to our well-being, according to Salchow.
So, how can we apply this approach to our daily lives? Hayes suggests doing something loving to feel more love, creating something beautiful to see more beauty, trying to catch a happy moment today and enjoying it, letting it pass without holding on to it, and asking oneself: "What is a small thing I can do to create more happiness in my life?"
The key isn't to pursue happiness, but how we do it, without falling into 'traps' that drain our life energy. After all, as Hayes writes, "If you're not ready to lose it, you've already lost it."
References: [1] Hayes, S. C. (2018). Embracing uncertainty: Practicing mindfulness in an unpredictable world. Guilford Publications. [2] Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change. Guilford Press. [3] Hayes, S. C. (2013). ACT with love: The revolutionary new therapy that will transform your life. Hachette UK. [4] Hayes, S. C. (2019, January 2). The way we approach happiness could be the reason behind its elusiveness. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/evolution-the-self/201901/the-way-we-approach-happiness-could-be-the-reason-behind-its-elusiveness
- In line with the principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), prioritizing acceptance of thoughts and feelings can contribute to improved mental health, preventing us from falling into the Avoidance Trap or the Clinging Trap, thus enhancing our overall health-and-wellness.
- Embracing the science of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which advocates for psychological flexibility and a different perspective on emotions, can be instrumental in fostering our mental-health and general health-and-wellness, helping us navigate life's challenges more effectively without getting trapped in negative emotional patterns.
